The Nice Advice by Leah Albert

Dear Leah,

I’m hosting our office holiday party at my place this year, and I have a serious five-alarm crush on my boss. I know he feels the same way  —  and that his wife is out of town for the party. I realize how wrong this sounds, but it feels like the perfect chance for something to happen between us. Am I really the horrible person I think I am for secretly wanting this?

Signed, Hot Mess

Dear Hot Mess,

YES! I am throwing a pail of freezing cold water at you! I’m sorry, but you do need to snap out of it. There is no perfect chance for something to happen between you — until he is unmarried. Surely, you have read the bumper stickers, the graffiti and the Greek myths? The upshot: Stay away from married men, especially if they’re your boss.

And if the married man won’t stay away from you? Husbands who stray have already proven themselves untrustworthy. Let’s say he kisses you at the end of your party  —  mistletoe, eggnog, the winter sun rising  —  then leaves your home, perhaps leaves his wife, moves into your home, marries you and then, one day when he is out until dawn, you will wonder: Who is he kissing now? Cheating — just like any form of lying — will haunt you until the end of days.

Instead, come at this crush the right way, the honest way. If it feels like he is the love of your life, wait for his circumstances to change. As it stands, he can always go home to his wife, while you risk having to leave or losing your job. The moral of the story: Until you are both available, you will have to look for your five alarms elsewhere.

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.