Things I Tell My Wife, By Matt Knutson

“I know I thought the new baby would be a boy before, but I’m changing my guess to a girl,” I told my wife moments before our anatomy ultrasound appointment. Sera also changed last minute from a prediction of a girl to a boy. We’d be happy either way, but sometimes you can’t help but wonder aloud what your future might hold. Ever since we found out a new little one would be arriving, I’ve told my wife it was a boy. I just had this hunch I couldn’t shake until that moment before we found out. Apparently Sera did, too.

Initially Sera wanted to do one of those popular gender-reveal activities. I had advocated for something less public, as I didn’t think I’d have much of a reaction no matter what the result would be. The public reveals are fun to watch, but I was too afraid of looking like a dad who didn’t care about his unborn child. Sera and I had settled on a less-public way to find out if we were having a son or daughter, but that thought quickly faded away when we decided to find out at our appointment. Apparently we just couldn’t wait. People have been getting more creative with revealing the baby’s gender. In preparation, we watched videos of balloon releases, cupcakes with colored filling and even some explosives tinted pink or blue. Perhaps that research will come in handy if and when the next baby comes around.

Until then, we’re focusing our time, justifiably so, on this pregnancy. Now that we’ve found out our little one’s gender, we can dive deeper into the name conversations. When we named Gracelyn, it was a pretty easy decision. Looking back, we knew early on that we wanted to name her that, but we didn’t allow ourselves to actually proclaim that as her official name for a few months out of fear that we’d change our mind. We obviously never did. This new baby is proving much harder to name. Sera continues to pursue the unusual baby names and is not incredibly interested in the “old people names” I keep suggesting. Somehow we’ll find some middle ground. It seems most of our friends and family have already claimed the unused names on our initial lists from Gracelyn’s pregnancy, so in the past few days we’ve revisited countless baby name websites and checked out multiple books from the public library in hopes that something might win us over. Maybe we’ll set a new trend and have a baby name reveal party instead of a gender reveal party.

Sharing this little one’s gender with family members proved a little more challenging this time around. Following in Gracelyn’s announcement’s footsteps, we sent baby-themed balloons to our parents in the traditional color that matched the baby’s gender. When Sera’s family received their balloon, it simply said, “Sweet Baby” and was multicolored. They actually had to request the shop worker reveal what we had shared over the phone when we placed our order. It wasn’t ideal, but it got the message across.

Gracelyn is, of course, too small to really understand what’s going on. We’ve encouraged her to say phrases like “big sister” and expanded her concept of baby from being focused on her favorite doll to also including her mama’s growing belly, but at her age, there’s only so much you can do. We’re also reading two books focused on being a big sister in hopes something is absorbed, and it has led to Gracelyn pointing out each and every baby whenever she sees one in person or in a story. I’m thankful some concept of having a sibling is setting in.

Another baby will of course change everything, but when we were in that ultrasound room and were introduced to the new baby as our daughter, you could tell Sera was a bit relieved. Fewer clothes to buy, less decorating to do and a clear expectation on what is to come based on what we’ve already been blessed with. This new baby girl will push boundaries and help us grow in ways unimaginable to how Gracelyn has shaped us, but sometimes it’s nice to feel like you’ll be treading on a similar path. I think that’s why I changed my guess to a girl last minute in that waiting room. Every once in awhile you need something to convince you that you can handle the path forward, and some pink-themed baby items are certainly giving us that hope now.

Matt Knutson is a  communication specialist in Rochester.