Matt Knutson: When the going gets tough, band together

Published 10:00 pm Thursday, June 22, 2017

Matt Knutson is a communication specialist in Rochester.

“I was really hoping we’d be past this,” I told my wife after learning earlier today that our daughter had a double ear infection. It started off as a cold a few days ago, and now her relentless crying had reached a point where we feared something worse might be going on. After day care called and suggested we have her seen by the doctor, we figured the ear infection had in fact returned.

Months ago, on Election Day actually, Gracelyn had tubes put in her ears to prevent things like this happening. It was possible for an ear infection to return, but much less likely. After a few blissful months, we’ve been hit with a double whammy and are finding little relief from a crying 1-year-old who cannot be consoled. She’s not sleeping well, not eating well and not behaving well. This little girl even had the audacity to give me the cold that caused the ear infection, so now I’m down for the count, too.

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We’re basically in a perfect storm. Gracelyn and I often band together as Sera copes with the pregnancy of our upcoming little girl. Morning sickness and migraines have barely subsided even though she’s in the second trimester, so that means we’re pretty much all helpless. Tonight we literally just sat around and hoped none of us would need anything from any of the rest of us and that we might just sit quietly in our state of sickness. That barely lasted a half hour, as Gracelyn’s screams became unbearable. The only solution was to take her for a walk, so the neighbors watched an incredibly pale father sneeze-walk his daughter around the block while squinting because the summer sun was too powerful. Hopefully there will be no photographic evidence of that endeavor running next to this column, as I assure you, it would not be attractive.

What do you do when you’re in such a scenario? When all seems hopeless and you don’t possess another ounce of energy to move forward, I’ve learned to simply run out the clock. Eventually that blinding sun will set, your daughter will fall asleep, and you can close your eyes for brief moments of sleep before you cough yourself awake. Breaking the rules is the only other way we’re getting by. Gracelyn wants to watch Elmo? Bring out the YouTube videos of that ticklish fiend. No energy to make a healthy snack? Time for ice cream. Laundry machine beeps? Throw the clean clothes in a pile and hope to sort them another day. Some days you just do what you have to do to get by.

I’m normally a problem solver. Whenever possible, I like to take on a challenge and find the best possible solution, which usually comes about by bringing the right people together. Days like today don’t allow that winning formula to take place. When everyone’s got to look out for him or herself, we’re all struggling — longing for the familial support that’s traditionally found in our household. There really is strength that appears when people are able to come together. When things get in the way, like a pesky cold, and we’re suddenly hobbling along instead of sprinting forward, it feels so hard to imagine the possibilities and potential that comes in the next day, week, month, or year. Sometimes it takes someone beyond ourselves to bring that hope into our lives. That’s the power of a strong community.

Maybe you don’t have that, but hopefully you have someone to call on when things get rough. I’m grateful for our family and friends who will gladly pitch in whenever we need them. Knowing not everyone has that support should hopefully compel you to be that person for someone else when they’re in need. I had hoped our days of double ear infections were frozen in the past, but it’s quite clear that we have yet to defeat that beast. Together, our family will overcome, as will others when they come together when things get tough.