Across the Pastor’s Desk by Henry Doyle

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

For me, this saying has never been altogether true.  I have a thick skin, but disparaging words said to or about me hurt and lead to my asking myself, “What have I said or done to the person(s) who said them?”  If I have ever thought to say or if I have said something inappropriate or insensitive, offensive or insulting, I question myself: Why did I ever think to say that?  What did that person do to me that led to my unkind, mean words?  No sooner have I thought or said them, I have felt awful and ashamed of myself.

I have heard my Nana say, “Henry, God doesn’t like ugly.”  I own up to my words; I ask the offended person to forgive me.  Whether or not I receive any forgiveness, I find a way for my next words to or about the person to be genuine and kind, sincere and truthful, encouraging and helpful.

Neither my parents nor grandparents taught me to say anything that would hurt another human being.  They stressed that my siblings and I were to speak kind and politely to one another and to anyone else we knew or met for the first time.  School, church neighbors, coaches and Boy Scouts reinforced this home teaching.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Words become our actions.”  Our words can lead to our living in harmony with one another or to our being at odds with one another.  The former is desirable, isn’t it?

“Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.” (Ephesians 4:29, Good News Bible)

Henry Doyle is the priest in charge at Christ Episcopal Church in Albert Lea.