Sarah Stultz: What does it mean to be a good mother?

Published 8:32 pm Monday, May 13, 2019

Nose for News by Sarah Stultz

 

Having just finished Mother’s Day, I’ve had a little time to think about how grateful I am to be a mother and for all of the mother figures I have in my life.

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Though motherhood does not come without its challenges — and sometimes there are many — the positives definitely outweigh the negatives.

While I’m constantly picking up the house — only to find it torn apart again five minutes later — and I often battle making meals that my son will actually eat, I have come to realize that being a good mom is about much, much more.

It’s not about having a spotless house, making restaurant-quality, kid-friendly meals, purchasing brand-name clothing or having a perfectly behaved child.

Being a good mom is all about the love you show your child.

From a young age, I learned this to be true from my own mother and grandmothers. I never once questioned their love for me simply because of their actions.

For that reason, I sought to emulate many of those actions, such as patience and understanding, when I became a mother myself.

I remember when my daughter, Sophie, was born, and my husband and I brought her home from the hospital. We had no idea what was to come. It’s almost a baptism by fire kind of experience, and it’s one that all new parents experience as they welcome their first child into the world and learn the ins and outs of parenting.

We, like all parents, have made mistakes. But we do our best to learn from them and try not to make them again.

Being a mother these days I would imagine is much different than it was when I was a child 30-plus years ago, but I believe it has many similarities.

That’s why I am grateful for the many motherly figures I have had in my life.

I know you don’t have to be related by blood to have that connection, and for all of these women, I will always be thankful.

There are the adopted grandmas and aunts at my church, who are not only dear friends but who watch out for me and my family like a mother would.

My mother-in-law moved here a few years back and has been another big help.

All of these women have been there to celebrate the highs and to comfort during the lows. They have been there to offer their own life experience when it relates.

Thank you.

To the mothers who have experienced the horrific tragedy of losing a child, my heart is with you this week.

Mother’s Day is not the same as it once was when my dear Sophie  was with us.

Speaking for myself, I can’t say it doesn’t sting a bit — because it does — but it is also a reminder of the love I have for Sophie and the love she showed to me.

I have no doubt that some of my own motherly figures who have passed on from this life are up there doing what they do best — nurturing and watching over her until we meet again.

Sarah Stultz is the managing editor of the Tribune. Her column appears every Tuesday.