April Jeppson: Maybe the dentist isn’t so bad afterall
Published 8:45 pm Friday, February 18, 2022
Every Little Thing by April Jeppson
I wrote the most amazing article this week. It was perfect. I was almost poetic. At the time I was mentally drafting it, I actually thought I could win an award for this caliber of writing. There was only one problem. I was about 30 minutes into a dental procedure as I was putting this article together in my mind. Which means I was also 30 minutes into breathing nitrous oxide.
I’m sure if someone would have given me access to a laptop, I would have written something enjoyable. Pulitzer Prize winning? Absolutely not. Hilariously confusing? For sure. In fact, I have no idea what my ‘brilliant’ topic even was. I only recall that this masterpiece could change lives, and I for sure would win something for it.
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Growing up, I would get laughing gas a lot. I had so many teeth pulled in preparation for my braces — I want to say I’ve had 12 teeth pulled, but that seems excessive. However, if you figure some of those were baby teeth, plus my wisdom teeth, maybe 12 is the correct number. Then again, I was high on laughing gas so maybe I’ve only had five teeth pulled. After my experience with the greatest article ever written, I now question all my thoughts when associated with N20.
I remember my childhood dentist saying that if ever they had a tank of nitrous missing, he’d know where to check first. I was probably 10. I remember thinking, I would never steal from the dentist. How would I even do that? Do I walk up at night and carry it home? Is it heavy? Would it be easier if I put it on the back of my bike? Don’t I need keys to get into this place? I was so confused that he thought I would do something like that, or was capable of doing it. In hindsight, he was joking and I was 10 and high as a kite.
I haven’t had any major dental work done in 25 years and I haven’t drank in 20. So this was quite the experience for me. I forgot how relaxed you become and how it feels like you’re floating. The dentist was drilling, and I had my eyes shut and was daydreaming. I think I even fell asleep a few times, only to be woken up by the hygienist telling me to do something.
I live a fairly busy life. These last few weeks have been abnormally stressful. Then you add in extra stuff, like vehicle tune ups and dentist appointments and now your week is jam-packed on top of the other work stress. When you take a person that is already probably doing too much, and then add more to their plate — well it becomes almost impossible to bear.
But then I went to the dentist.
Hands down the most relaxing two hours I’ve had in a very long time. I was not burdened with deadlines, questions, complaints — I had not a care in the world and it felt amazing.
Best $59 I’ve spent in a long time. 5/5 Stars. Highly recommend.
Albert Lean April Jeppson is a wife, mom, coach and encourager of dreams. Her column appears every Saturday.