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Tales from Exit 22 by Al Batt

He’d had a good run.

Charlie Munger died at 99 years of age. He was a businessman, investor, philanthropist and vice-chair of Berkshire Hathaway, the conglomerate controlled by Warren Buffett. Buffett described Munger as his right-hand man.

Charlie said, “All I want to know is where I’m going to die, so I’ll never go there.” Good advice for all soothsayers.

Cherry Coke is the official drink of the Berkshire Hathaway Annual Shareholders Meeting. Berkshire Hathaway is a significant investor in Coca-Cola. Buffett said he prefers getting his calories from foods and drinks that “make me feel good,” such as soda. “I have not seen evidence that convinces me that it’ll be more likely I reach 100 if I suddenly switched to water and broccoli,” he said.

Munger argued it was a “ghastly error” for soda opponents to ignore the benefits of soda, such as adding flavor to water, which may encourage people to drink their daily recommended level.

Both munched on See’s peanut brittle during the meeting. “I hate to advertise my own product, but this is the key to longevity,” Munger said before taking another bite of peanut brittle.

I sat with three people at another meeting in a bustling eatery. We talked of Munger and Buffett. One ordered a pop, one ordered a soda and one ordered a soft drink. No one ordered peanut brittle.

In my heard past, the story was I’d asked my father, back when adults had all the answers, if everything died. He wasn’t much for sugarcoating things, so he said, “All living things die.”

“Even you and Mom?” was my follow-up, as recalled by my mother.

“We’re living things.”

I thought they’d always be there. It’s a little big world and a big little world. Each generation makes its history, passes on its advice and carries what it’s been taught — things like the following.

Take a jacket. It might not be 93 degrees all day.

Change the oil regularly.

Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back if you have a large deductible on your insurance.

Be grateful for warm feet and a roll of tape with a starting edge.

Look both ways before crossing a street. I motored around Chicago in a rental car, as a radio voice said coyotes allegedly look both ways before crossing a street and use crosswalks at red lights. Humans are often too busy to look more than one way before crossing a street.

Do it when you think of it. Mom wanted things done the century before they needed to be done. If a bill came in the mail, a check was in the mailbox the next morning. A kid named Harold rode on our school bus. One day, he declared his name was Eugene. He did that when he thought of it. Even those unsure of his name began calling him Harold.
Shop on sample day.

Floss as often as you tell your dentist you do.

See a doctor whenever that little voice inside you says you should.

My mother asked if I’d take something to her lawyer’s office. I waited until the last minute. I picked up the packet and drove to the city to drop it off at the lawyer’s. After I’d parked, the car made a strange yowling sound. My cars had never been owned by a little old lady who drove them only to church on pleasant Sundays in the summer. My cars were all previously exhausted and most had received last rites. I figured it was overheating, as I’d had lots of experience with hot cars, none of which were stolen. I opened the hood to see if water was needed.

My mother’s cat jumped from its hiding place in the engine compartment and ran down the street. I scurried after the tabby, but had it been a race, the cat would have lapped me. I dropped the packet off at the lawyer’s, asked for legal advice on dealing with the loss of the cat and resumed my search for the mouser. I never saw hide nor hair of that feline again. What advice can I offer after casting a shadow on this planet?

When you see a lawyer, be careful you don’t lose your mother’s cat.

Al Batt’s columns appear in the Tribune every Wednesday.