The time for families with aging seniors to talk is now
Published 10:56 am Thursday, October 9, 2014
Guest Column by John Pacchetti
A recent survey found that two-thirds of families put off talking about senior issues such as driving, living arrangements, finances and end-of-life plans, because they are either uncomfortable with these topics or they don’t know where to start.
John Pacchetti
In fact, 70 percent of family conversations about aging issues don’t occur until they are prompted by a health crisis or other emergency.
This can be a real problem for families, because tensions tend to run high in times of crisis and adding complicated and potentially life-changing issues into the mix can lead to family disputes and undesirable outcomes.
A lot of this can be avoided by following the 40-70 Rule, which basically means that by the time a parent is 70 and their adult children are 40, key conversations about aging issues should be well underway. There are families who will have to consider having these discussions well earlier, of course, but this is the general guideline that most senior care experts recommend.
The complexities of aging are different for every family. Will parents be able to afford to live out their retirement years as they would like? Who is responsible for caring for a step parent? What if Dad has Alzheimer’s and you don’t know anything about his finances? When is the right time to stop driving? What happens when Mom brings home a boyfriend?
To help navigate these issues, there are a number of resources available in the region, including financial advisers, the Alzheimer’s Association and other organizations. At Home Instead Senior Care, we have developed the Action Plan for Successful Aging, which is an interactive book that tackles each issue individually in order to help families work together to come up with a plan that works for them. The Action Plan is free and you can download it at 4070talk.com.
The aging process is a big transition for many families. One of the best things you and your family can do to prepare for it is to talk early, openly and often — and understand that you are not alone.
John Pacchetti is a co-owner of Home Instead Senior Care, a home health care provider for southeastern Minnesota.
