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Al, Author at Albert Lea Tribune

Columnists

Al Batt: Thanks for laundering my money and other things, Mom

She was the last to know it was raining. I headed home from somewhere. Somewhere else someone had said, “Rain, rain go away, come again ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, May 4, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: I just buttoned my lip with a buzz saw from my grandma

I met the day with the wonder of a Labrador puppy. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, April 27, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Whatever happened to that whatchamacallit?

It begins with, “I can’t find the whatchamacallit.” Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, April 20, 2021 8:53 pm

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Al Batt: Potatoes, popcorn and a rabbit walk into a story

Tales from Exit 22 by Al Batt “I don’t have enough rabbits.” I couldn’t muster any pity for the man who said that. “I have ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, April 13, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: The grass is always greener when it’s in your Easter basket

Spring rode in on the south wind. It was a soaring turkey vulture wearing a stocking cap on its bald head. Its head still looked much ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, April 6, 2021 8:51 pm

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Al Batt: At least I wouldn’t have to bother to burn it behind me

I built a bridge once. I’ve been to Jerusalem. I picked up newspapers from a smiling vendor without a stand. Stacks of papers rested upon the ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, March 30, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Playing game of football against the Steel Beams

There are two kinds of people — those who were born in March and those who wish they had been. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, March 23, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: I’m a stay-by-the-cart kind of guy when we’re shopping

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Her wish was my command. Now I can’t read anything on the list. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, March 16, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Life itself can be known as a near-death experience

We’ve all had near-death experiences. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, March 9, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Marshal Wannabe at The Put It Back Store

A friend suggested we try paintball. I declined. Here’s why. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, March 2, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Meanwhile back here at the old geezer bench

I was playing the part of me. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, February 23, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Watch out for the potty mouth man outside the post office

He wouldn’t set his long underwear on fire to keep others warm. But he's a good guy. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, February 16, 2021 8:50 pm

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Al Batt: The family’s trusted Pontiac had an oldometer

My father was the last owner of every car titled in his name. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, February 9, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: Smelling the dairy air

I’ll admit it, I’ve never milked almonds. I’ve never milked soybeans, rice, oats, hemp, flax, coconuts or cashews either. Apparently, milk comes from everything but ... Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, February 2, 2021 8:45 pm

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Al Batt: There is no “I” in food

Sometimes I get so hungry I could almost eat my cooking. Read more

by Al Batt, Tuesday, January 26, 2021 8:45 pm

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